Here are two comments on the news from humorist Hamilton:
"Netflix announced that employees may not stare at each other for more than five seconds or it's sexual harassment. They have a five-second rule. I think it's fantastic that women have made so much progress, they now have the same rights as a sandwich you accidentally dropped on the floor."
"The Russian News Agency reports that the nuclear plant site Chernobyl has been successfully converted into a solar energy plant thirty-two years after the scary nuclear leak. They also built a Disneyland-like amusement park at the site. The difference is, the six-foot mouse at Chernobyl is real."