Deck The Halls With Boughs of Bailouts

In an amusing "Wonder Land" column, Daniel Henninger says that the United States will bail out Christmas:

"Government officials are said to be concerned at the risk that the collapse of Santa Claus could pose to the nation's intricately related system of holiday happiness. Though a failure by Santa Claus poses the largest systemic risk, the government is also prepared to step in to bail out Christmas trees, caroling parties and mistletoe producers".