"If Ahmadinejad (pronounced: I’m a dinner jacket) needed midnight munchies during his visit to this infidel city, there were also plenty of H&H bagels, onion bialys and Zabar’s cream cheese.
To cheer up the sourpuss hatemonger, there’s a $125 comped ticket to the off-Broadway play 'Old Jews Telling Jokes' — booked in his name. It just might take the edge off his bloodthirsty desire to develop nuclear weapons and wipe Israel off the map.
Anticipating the schlumpy, unshaven dictator’s penchant for wearing the same suit all week long, we thoughtfully included 'I ♥ NY' undies and a stick of Irish Spring deodorant, to keep the flies away.
For those quiet moments away from spinning centrifuges, he can relax with a good book. But since it’s likely he can’t read the truth about 9/11, which he condemns as 'a big lie,' there’s a picture book, 'The 9/11 Report,' a graphic adaptation by Sid Jacobson and Ernie Colon.
There’s also a bobblehead Statue of Liberty to keep on his night table, a teddy bear to cuddle with during those cold Persian nights and a 9/11 American-flag refrigerator magnet that he can stick on the minibar.
The Holocaust denier might want to learn something about the subject by taking in a tour of downtown’s Museum of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holocaust. We packed a brochure.
Of course, a basket of cheer wouldn’t be complete without a card — the little kitty on the cover might melt his evil heart — and New Yorkers lined up to pen their personal greetings.
'Happy [Jewish] New Year 5773. Available for counseling if you need it,' wrote psychologist Alan Hifler, 64, outside Zabar’s deli on the Upper West Side.
'Welcome to New York and the USA! Home of all that is good!' scribbled student Gabriella Guimaraes, 20.
'We’d gladly burn your tongue with coffee,' another woman wrote.
Mark Kirszner, 69, a retired social worker, said, 'He could choke on it.'
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Welcome to New York. Now Drop Dead!
The New York Post has welcomed Ahmadinejad to New York --with some special gifts!