"Now, what about people who offend you politically, day in, day out? Our letter-writer spoke of being surrounded by those who are “casually anti-Republican.” I can relate (as we used to say). As longtime readers know, I have spent my life in left-wing strongholds: Ann Arbor; Cambridge, Mass.; Georgetown, D.C.; and the Upper West Side.(This gives me the opportunity to link to Anne Kornblut's memorable 2006 column,The Elephant in the Room.)
Incidentally, I’ve loved living in all of these places, certainly the last three.
In the Manhattan I know, people tend to be quite alike, though they think of themselves, collectively, as wildly, wonderfully diverse. They read the same paper, voice the same opinions, vote for the same candidates. They worship in the Church of the New York Times.
And they assume that you are one of them, a fellow parishioner, because why wouldn’t you be? You don’t have horns and a tail. But let them know that you may, just may, have voted for Reagan or one of the Bushes — and then the horns and tail become obvious.
Couple years ago, I did a big series on what I called “safe zones.” Here is one column, the longest, I think. By 'safe zone,' I mean a zone free of politics, or one that ought to be. These zones, of course, are violated all the time, in the crudest ways. I won’t rehash all this now.
But I remember a particular story — not the worst of them; maybe the most benign of them. A man and his fiancée — or maybe it was his new bride — were visiting New York. They took one of those open-air tours, on a bus. As they were riding past Fox News, the tour narrator trashed that network. He also said something about the U.S. military-recruitment office in Times Square (I believe).
Couldn’t he have kept his politics to himself? No, of course not. Sooner ask a dog not to go on the rug. But then, dogs can be trained, and so can people, although maybe less easily.
Okay, that was one tour guide, and the couple never had to see him again. (They were conservative, I should have said, but you’ve probably guessed.) What about the cases our letter-writer mentions? What about people you have to see regularly, who casually give offense?
Do you dump your personal trainer? Do you have a little talk with him? Do you suffer in silence, hoping that, if you don’t respond, if you don’t join in, he’ll assume you’re not onboard and lay off politics? If you find you don’t want to work with your trainer anymore, do you just go? Do you make some excuse? Or do you tell him why?
As I said before, no idea. I think you have to handle these things case by case. With your gut. I often like to quote the late Abe Rosenthal, who, asked how he edited the New York Times, said, 'With my stomach.'
I have a friend who worked in a setting that was toxic to her, politically. They excreted left-wing views and attitudes, all day long. My friend was in the closet, politically. She said to me once, 'Jay, you know how children, who suffer molestation, are told to go to a ‘safe place,’ mentally? That’s what I try to do. I try to pretend I’m wrapped in some kind of cocoon and can’t hear it, or can’t be touched by it.'
Now, my friend is no priss. It’s not as though she objects to hearing views not her own. It’s just that this atmosphere was pretty rotten."
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Poltical Toxicity
In Jay Nordlinger's latest Impromptus column, there's a discussing about dealing with people whose views are completely opposite of yours. Here's part of it.
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