These are my favorites:
Groucho Marx:
"When told he and his family couldn’t swim in the pool at a country club that excluded Jews, comedian Groucho Marx (1890-1977), whose wife was not Jewish, protested: “But my daughter’s only half-Jewish. Can she go in up to her waist?”
"Marx was one of the few Jewish members of the exclusive Friars Club, an exclusive Manhattan private club which famously restricted Jewish members.
"In 1949, he lampooned the club’s antisemitism, resigning his membership in a telegram: “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.”
Golda Meir
"Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir (1898 - 1978) engaged in US-mediated peace talks with Arab states in the 1970s. On one occasion, US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger explained that he was being tough on Israel because he didn’t want to be accused of favoritism to the Jewish state. “First I am an American,” he said, “second I am Secretary of State, and third I am a Jew.”
"Prime Minister Meir simply replied: “In Israel, we read from right to left.”
Elon Gold
"After antisemites marched through the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia, chanting “Jews will not replace us,” comedian Elon Gold provided a response:
“We don’t want to replace you, we just want to put braces on you…we just want to manage your portfolio…we want to place you in a 30-year fixed low interest mortgage…we want to fit you for glasses, heal you, teach you, inspire you, make you laugh, represent you in a divorce and she replaces you.”
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